Why Men Find It Hard to Approach Women

Anxiety can be normal in stressful situations and can also cause distress such as taking a test or exam, speaking in front of a crowd of people, starting a new job, all-in-all, a fear of what’s to come. In this blog post, I will be discussing the fear that many guys feel when attempting to meet someone that he’s attracted to. Believe it or not, this is a real problem with most young men and men in general. One of the most difficult parts of meeting a new person is the initial approach itself.

Just the mere thought of meeting that attractive woman that you’ve had your eye on for a long time sends a terrifying chill through your veins. When you finally build up enough courage to walk up to her, each step you take feels like your shoes are made of 20 LB weights. Your heart is racing out of control. You start to sweat nervously. You stick your hands in your pockets to hide the fact they are trembling out of control. And if that’s not enough, now your brain feels like scrambled eggs as you’re trying to figure out what are you going to say… What if you tried to strike up a conversation and she walks off before you get a chance to talk to her? This within itself can be a detrimental form of rejection. You freeze in your tracks…

My friend, little do you know, you have something known as approach anxiety.

This term is used to describe a guy who feels awkward, highly nervous and distressed before adoring, approaching and getting to know a woman that he has never met. A phobia from a man’s belief that he is very likely to be rejected in unpleasant and harsh ways by the woman he desires. I have strong evidence that all of this approach anxiety starts from childhood. Since you all were boys, you were raised on the belief system that girls were always positioned above you within society. You were always told that girls are sugar and spice and everything nice. You were pretty much led to believe that girls were superior to you in every measurable way. Meanwhile, boys weren’t complimented in any way at all. Girls were always held in a higher regard than boys. Personally, I always thought that if girls are called Princess and Queens, boys should be called Prince and Kings. And now you guys are all grown up, you still have that mentality that you adopted throughout childhood. But guys, stick with me, because I’m going to let you in on a little secret…

A woman is no better than a guy, although society perceives them as such. You are programmed as a kid that only guys do certain things, while women are looked upon as being sweet and innocent. This holds true also with teachers in classrooms. I’m sure you’ve experienced this a time or two if you notice teachers cater to girls a little bit more, leaving boys to wonder why girls are always put on a pedestal even though at times you catch them acting and behaving in an uncertain, not so ladylike manner. And this image sticks with you for the rest of your life. Keep in mind with all the things I just mentioned, who wouldn’t develop approach anxiety? There’s no simple way around it if you were conditioned to these tactics created by society.

Jumping through hoops and playing mind games is such a double standard when it comes down to a guy approaching a girl. If a girl and or woman sees a guy she’s interested in and really attracted to and gives him her number or other forms of contact information, more than likely, he will call her.

But here is where the double standard issue comes in.

A woman can reject multiple guys all day if he tries to get to know her, and there’s nothing wrong with her when she rejects him. But as soon as a guy does it, all types of negative thoughts and opinions start to form in mind. “Oh, there’s something terribly weird, odd and wrong with him.”
“Oh, he must not like women…”

Yeah, those are the types of things women say. It’s as though guys are not allowed to have a choice.

If he rejects a woman—although she may be very attractive—he may be rejecting her because of her attitude, which is a big turn off for him. She’s beautiful on the outside, but she’s truly lacking that beauty on the inside. This is becoming more prominent in society now. Do you see the double standard here that I’m talking about? Meeting someone is more challenging for men, especially when they want to approach a beautiful woman. As I mentioned earlier, because of the belief system from childhood, it can sometimes make you lack self-confidence. But you know what? You must stop thinking this way because at the end of the day, the females are just like you—despite how society wants you to perceive them. They pee, poop, and pass gas just like everyone else. I know that might sound funny, but the point I’m trying to make is that they are no different from each and everyone of you guys! They put their pants on just like the rest of you. So get that nonsense out of your mind that they are somehow better than you. They are NOT!